Food. You can’t live without it. It’s not like the old saying, “you can’t live with ’em; you can’t live without ’em.” Although, I must say I wouldn’t want to live without my man! He loves me unconditionally. He’s loved me at my lightest and he loves me at my heaviest. But unlike men, you can’t live without food. So in that respect, food is a friend. But for some (like me) it can turn into a foe. It’s not really an obsession but oh how I love to eat good food. I have my weaknesses like anyone else but if I had to pinpoint one or two foods, I really don’t know what I would choose. I love the obvious like pizza and chocolate but I can live without both for extended periods of time. So why can’t I do that with all foods?
Some people are happy in their large bodies. And that’s ok. But I’m not one of them. I actually kind of envy big girls that are comfortable in their own skin. I’ve been at weights before where I thought I was fat (and I probably was) and I would love to be there right now. But I know when I get there (and I will get there), it won’t be enough. I know this because I know me.
I’ve tried every diet there is to try. The cabbage diet. The banana diet. Counting calories. Counting fat. The diabetic diet. Sugar Busters. The high protein/low carb diet. Weight Watchers. Herbal Life. Nutrisystem. Arbonne. Slim Fast. Visalus. Plexus. Essential Oils. I’m sure I could think of more but I think you get the idea. Some worked great! Some not at all. But there’s been one constant thing that hasn’t changed for as long as I can remember. I’m exhausted all the time. I wake up tired and could take a nap by 10:00am. By 5:00pm I’m physically and mentally exhausted. I don’t want to do anything but go home and fall on the couch until 10:00pm when I can go to bed. I would go at 9:00 but my husband says we’re not old enough for that yet. I’ve been telling doctors for years but they always blame it on my weight or weight related issues such as sleep apnea (which I was eventually cleared of once I was put on a daily inhaler). Even when I weighed the least at 135, I was tired so what gives? I will say I felt better at 135 than I had in years but the fatigue was still there.
I would live with it for a while and ask again but always the same answer. It’s your weight. So I recently started searching for a new doctor. One that would think out of the box and not try to blame everything on my weight. I found an Integrative Health practice and I’ve only been going there for a couple of months but she’s already discovered that my cortisol was low and I tested positive for some food allergies. But medication for low cortisol is not helping so it’s really got me wondering about food. There’s a couple more tests I can do but insurance doesn’t cover it so I’m going to see how this food thing goes first.
That brings me to the purpose of this blog and my journey. Like I said above, I know me. I have the motivation to get started but I know when things get hard, I will be tempted to “cheat”. That’s usually the way it goes for me. There’s always a reason or an occasion. So I’m starting my journey today. Christmas day. I’m going to start talking about my journey before it even starts on January 2nd, 2017. It’s for me to reflect and a way to hold myself accountable and it will get me more motivated and ready. This isn’t for anyone but me. If you’re reading this and it helps you get motivated, awesome! I would love to hear from you. And advice is great but negativity and criticism are not. So don’t go there.
I’ll start preparing for my journey tomorrow by going over my “food allergies” and the diet (and meal plans) I’ve chosen to follow come January 2nd.
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!